First Name or Last Name? Why the Answer Reveals More Than You Think
Which is more important to you, your first name or your last name? I ask people this question all the time. What comes back is never really about names at all.
Some people tell me their last name matters most, because it carries a legacy, something meant to be passed down for generations. Others say their first name matters more, because it was given to them specifically, with a story that belongs only to them. A few say neither matters, because they want to be known for who they are, not a title or a history. There is no right answer. But every time, the answer reveals something true about the person in front of me.
That is the whole point of the work I do. A question people barely think twice about can uncover values, priorities, even a pain point someone never planned on sharing. It works because most conversations never make it past the surface. A manager asks how someone's weekend was and gets a polite it was good back, no more detail offered. Friends who have known each other for years still only talk about pizza toppings. I think trust, or the lack of it, is the real reason people hold back.
I also want to challenge an assumption most of us carry into work every day, that personal life and professional life stay neatly separate. They never really do. Whatever happened over the weekend walks in on Monday morning anyway, in someone's mood, their energy, their patience. We are not actually separating the two. We are only pretending to.
So here is what I want leaders and teams to do with that. Notice. When someone on your team seems different, do not let it slide because it feels like none of your business. Ask. Are you okay? Do you need anything? It does not require prying. It only requires caring enough to notice. That single act of noticing is what builds trust, and trust is what makes people tell you the truth instead of the safe version of it.
I built the Questions and Perspectives app for exactly this reason, to help you move past small talk and into real conversation, whether that is at your kitchen table or your conference table. Open the app at www.QandPcards.com, play three free cards today, and ask someone a question. Then really listen to what they tell you.
Stay connected and keep growing. Tune in to the KimUnity Soulutions Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.
Truly,
Kim the SME
