The Power of the Buffer
I’ve always told my children since they started driving to leave space between them and the car in front of you. I learned this lesson the hard way. Years ago, I was rear ended and pushed into the car ahead of me. Even though I did not start the chain reaction, I was still held liable for the car in front of me.
The more I reflect back on that moment, the more I see how it applies to more than just driving.
We need space everywhere. Not just between bumpers, but between jobs, between relationships, between one version of ourselves and the next.
Here is what I know. We can leave one position for another and walk into that new environment still carrying the weight of the last one. New people can make one small move and get treated as if they were the people experienced from before. It's not fair to them and it is exhausting for us. We have to renew our minds and our energy before we walk into the next room or we start creating the very pattern we say we are trying to escape.
Communication is not only what we say. It is our tone, our body language, the space we do or do not give someone after a difficult moment. I have watched people take offense to a mood that had nothing to do with them, and I have watched other people recognize it, step back, and let time do what time does. That pause, that willingness to not respond immediately, has prevented more conflict in my life than any perfectly chosen word ever has.
Still, there is a balance. It's also possible to let too much time pass, let an issue go cold instead of resolved, only to watch it resurface later with more weight than before.
What I would like to know from you is, how much space is enough? How do you know when it is time to address something instead of continuing to leave it alone? I do not come to these conversations with all the answers. I come with questions, because I believe we grow more from each other’s experiences than from any one person’s certainty.
To listen to the full episode, tune in to the KimUnity Soulutions Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.
Truly,
Kim the SME