You Can't Grab New Blessings With a Closed Fist
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Have you ever walked into someone's space like their home, office, even just their energy and felt like you were reading a book about who they are without a single word being spoken?
That happened to me recently.
I was visiting someone and observed all that surrounded them, what they collected, how they moved through their own space, and something clicked. Not a judgment, but observation. If you've learned anything about me, you know I dig deep. That's what I do.
When something grabs my attention, I don't rush to a verdict. I get curious, get into my critical thought, and out of that curiosity I discovered four types of people that I call: Grabbers, Swingers, Drifters, and Open Handers. It's not about personality, but habit.
Which one are you? More importantly, which may be the very thing standing between you and what's next?
The Grabber holds on to everything they come into contact with. If they love it, if they have a connection to it, they grab it, and they don't let go...mostly out of fear. The thought is more about it being 'all that I have and if I let go, nothing else will come'.
Think about that in the workplace. Have you ever worked alongside someone who treated their knowledge like a secret? Who held information so close to their chest because they believed their position depended on being the only one who knew? That's a Grabber. I don't say that with judgment, but with understanding. This behavior is rooted in something real: fear of losing status, fear of becoming replaceable, fear that without the thing they're holding, they're not enough.
Here's the hard truth, though: how can you grab something new if your fist is already closed? You can't. You end up with old blessings stacked on top of old blessings. You can't receive anything larger or greater when your hands are already full.
Now, the Swinger...I'll be honest, this is where I see myself most days.
Picture the monkey bars on a playground. You reach for the next bar and only when you feel that grip and only when you know it's secure do you release the one behind you. There's wisdom in that, but there's also a cost. Opportunity cost.
Swingers are often your leaders. They're calculated. They don't panic. They think it through (sometimes to their detriment), because there's a point where thinking too long means the opportunity has already passed.
Colin Powell once said something about not waiting until you have all the information before you act. The window closes. And the Swinger, for all their preparation, has to be honest about when they're holding on out of strategy versus when they're holding on out of fear dressed up as strategy.
In the workplace, Swingers are the ones who leave prepared, not quietly. They build their network. They secure their letters of recommendation. They are the ones you remember because they made something better while they were there. But even a Swinger's arms get tired. Even a Swinger can hold on too long and lose everything they're clutching just trying to reach what's next.
The Drifter moves free.
Imagine a plane gliding through clouds. One moment everything is white and then, without effort, the clouds part and there's clarity. That's the Drifter. They're not clinging to anything. They flow through it. There's a peace in that, a trust that wherever they land will be right.
But there's also a lack of direction. The Drifter experiences life as it comes. They're exploring, always exploring. They move out of freedom, not of fear.
In the workplace, the Drifter might be the one who brings the most freedom into a room, but they also may be the one without a clear mark they've left behind.
Now this one hit me personally when I thought it through.
The Open Hander looks like the Drifter on the outside. Hands open. Nothing gripped. Easy, breezy, but the difference is everything: the Drifter is open by abundance. The Open Hander is open by protection, because they've been hurt before.
They've had something and lost it: a relationship, a job, or even a sense of security. Somewhere along the way they made a quiet decision: I would rather not have than to have and lose again. Why go through that? Why hold on when it'll be gone anyway?
I saw myself in this, too, especially when I think back to my time in corporate. I never brought photos to my desk. Never brought plants. Never made it feel like a living room the way some of my colleagues did. And I used to tell myself it was because of my personality, because I don't mix personal and professional that way. But there was something else underneath that: a guarding of myself. A quiet open hand that said, I'm not getting comfortable here.
The Open Hander in the workplace is the one who won't advocate for themselves. Who won't go for the promotion; not because they don't want it, but because somewhere in their spirit they've already decided they won't get it. It's not apathy. It's armor.
Here's what I want you to think about: these four types aren't really about what you're holding or what you're releasing. They're about how you're positioning yourself for next.
Are you in a lack mindset or an abundance mindset? Are you leaving room for grace? Can you receive something new or are your hands always closed or still waiting for perfect?
73% of HR leaders say their employees are fatigued from change. 62% of workers say they've experienced more change this past year than the year before. When you understand these four types, you start to understand why that fatigue looks so different from person to person. A Grabber experiences change as a threat. A Swinger experiences it as a calculation. A Drifter barely registers it, and an Open Handerwas already bracing for it.
We bring our whole selves to work. Every experience, every loss, every lesson...it walks in with us every single morning. That's why I do what I do. That's why I believe so deeply in creating spaces where people can actually be seen, understood, and met where they are.
I want you to do three things before you close this post: identify which type you are and be honest, you might be more than one, and that's okay. Ask yourself how you got here, what experiences shaped this, and ask yourself the hardest question: what has it cost me to stay here?
Finally, share. Leave a comment. Send this to someone who needs to hear it. Not because you have answers for them, but because sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is a mirror.
If you want to keep this kind of conversation going, check out the Questions & Perspectives conversation cards at qandpcards.com. They're designed for exactly this — getting to understand the people around you in the workplace and beyond.
Until next time — position yourself for all that you deserve.
– Kim the SME
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